Everyone has hobbies they use to escape their daily routine aka lives. Whether it’s a healthy coping mechanism like going for a hike, or a habit that makes you question if you ever had integrity at all such as tagging (vandalizing) other’s property, we all know what we enjoy doing to let loose.
Lately, I’ve gotten sucked in to mobile game apps (Android and iOS) that allegedly will pay you out once you hit certain thresholds. I prefer either “Blackout Bingo” or “Word Relax”. Both require $20 to cash out. (I’ll put an example of the App Cover and real Game Play view of them at the bottom of this post.) Bingo is pretty self explanatory, but if you dob (or mark) your spots quickly and correctly, you’ll get power-ups like free dobs or double the points. You’re putting money in, like a bet, against another real person player. It’s relaxing if you play 1 or 2 cards, at least I get stressed if I try to play more. My other game I mentioned, Word Relax, is definitely geared to make you give up before hitting the $20 mark. I’m 350 levels deep, 2 weeks in, and I’m only at $17.41. I’m NOT sure what dictionary they play out of AT ALL! I’m learning a lot of new words to add to my vocabulary though.
The games distract me from my life, but they don’t distract me from my mind. The fact I’m so stuck in my head turns me irritable, moody, and inspired almost. I say almost because I have trouble staying engaged if I’m not challenged. I’ve never been this consistent with a blog, for an example, but learning how to set up the site and be vulnerable with others is new for me. I’m happy to tell my story about my checkered past and all my mistakes/regrets in person, hell to crowds, but that isn’t what makes me vulnerable. The moment, this moment, being honest about my feeling in the now, THAT makes me so very anxious.
I’m one of those people who never really fall square into a category. You’ll think you have me figured out, and I’ve 180’d from what you assumed you pegged. One day I’ll be like a hippie, the next I’ll be screaming for the head of someone who wronged me (away from the situation of course, I don’t have bail money ha!). I have one of the strongest work ethics that those who know me have seen, but, and this is a big but [that’s what she said ;)] if I feel it’s meaningless or non-value add, I’m out. I’ll complete the task, but I will not be driven to do it quickly or necessarily the best I can. I resent it when I’m directed to do busy work.
I’ll try to keep this [rambling] short, I’m probably losing you at this point, ha. The secret to my happiness, is to let me work it out myself. Once I understand what/how I’m feeling about a situation, I will be excited to share with you what’s going on. I absolutely DESPISE it when I obviously am talking to myself (think very under the breath and basically mouthing my thoughts to myself) and I’m magically heard versus when I’m talking directly to someone and they constantly say, “what”. Another one is when I say something along the lines of, “The dog over there was chasing its tail like it was a rabbit or something” and I’m met with the response of, ” what do you mean? I don’t understand??” I really do not know how to explain that further beyond saying, “the dog chased its tail real fast.” It bothers me because I know that I wasn’t being acknowledged or heard in the slightest way. It feels disrespectful and like the person is trying to cop out and avoid admitting it.
Well, now that I’ve effectively traveled to Spain from South Africa distance off topic, I will leave you with this. It is beyond important to find something healthy to cope with a shitty reality. Find what you can lose yourself in for a while. Here’s a few ideas, but I’d love to hear yours in the comments!
- Reading books from the library (yes, that’s still a FUN thing to do)
- Grabbing a loved one and playing a game (board or video)
- Going for a hike
- Researching an industry you’ve been curious about
- Volunteering at a convalescent home. Now this one is dear to me, I have met so many inspirational people I would’ve never crossed paths with. You both benefit more than you know from the visits as well. It extends their life and gives you a benefit of fulfillment. You can even advocate for them if you find the home isn’t treating them up to par! All they want is company. You wouldn’t be expected or required to clean up after them.
- Plan/open a business. It’s easier to save up and plan for than you’d guess.
I’ll get off my soapbox now, but take a chance on yourself. You might be surprised at what you need and enjoy to pull yourself out of a darkness that was looming over you like a Mississippi summer storm. The golden hot sun will poke through without you even realizing it was creeping up. Stay hopeful, fake it ’til you make it back to being okay with where you’re at, and make sure you have at least 1 person in the entire world you can tell that you’re not okay. Oh, and it’s okay to not be okay for a while. It WILL change though, I won’t say get better, but it will get DIFFERENT.
I haven’t quite mastered how to resize my blocks. Apologies for the horrid promotional formatting!