Have you ever stared into the distance and thought 💭 to yourself something so twisted you 🤔 think to yourself that whoever has figured out the telepathy technology is going to send some sort of federal response after me. Oh, don’t get excited, I’m not talking the “foil hat” worries, just trying to put the context there to ask you if you’ve thought of something as critical. I am NOT suicidal, but I do suffer from suicidal ideation. The voice in my head during dark times, on repeat.
It’s not something that will comfort someone to hear, but the fact of the matter is everyone has a fantasy. Mine just happens to be full of despair and afterlife. Don’t you ever think about what happens when someone close to you passes? Don’t you sometimes (during the grieving process) bargain with your higher power and say “It should’ve been me! Why wan’t it me?” Well, it’s kind of like that, only without the trigger of the grieving process.
I’m going to include a few poems by one of my favorite creators. I hope they convey a bit better what this all means. I’m not okay, but I will be.